The school of plain shmucks!

I’ve got this pal. Call him Adam. I love him to death because he is always a riotous source of amusement
And
He looks like me (yet my ways are completely lost in him!)

He can be a real jerk once he sets his mind to it (sorry dude…still got mad luv) and just recently he effectively managed to show me that he was capable of going much much lower.

I had just woken up preparing to celebrate another day of God’s green earth…
Taking deep breathes, listening to the birds’ sing and yada yada yada.
But all this is brought to a sudden unwelcome halt by a bang against the window!

It was a freakin 6 in the freakin morning!!!


D : (genuinely shocked)What the hell?!

A little tip Adam, the whole stalking thing works
Infinitely better when you don’t actually smash your face in the window

A : cut it man…I’m in a serious dilemma.

D : you and me both.

Can’t figure out if I should call law enforcement or plainly whack you myself!

A : it’s about Eve…she’s causing me major frustrations!

Now for some bizarre unexplainable reason, friends seem to be more than a little fond of my company when they feel the need to vent.

With bags under thy eyes and a sudden look of fatigue, I slouched into the first thing I calculated could fit this fine behind.

D : ‘supp?

A : si I told you about how Eve doesn’t give me any?

D : the chilling for marriage thing…vaguely remember something to that effect .

A : can’t do it anymore, it’s been three years now…I just can’t

D: and…so?

A : so in good faith(?) I told her. I said I still loved her to death and still respected
her abstinence crusade but I could be a follower no more.
It’s not that I wanted us to call it quits…she is still the one for me.
Anyhow, I know this other lady who is quite lonely,
she agreed to us having physical relations bila any other ties…I told Eve
About it and even suggested we visit a VCT center to get tested for sexually
transmitted diseases and all.
I was open and honest…I thought that’s what you women want from a guy
And do you know how the woman responded?

She blew in the roof! Damn near gave me a heart attack, and now our relationship is
In some strange twilight zone.
She’s refused to talk to me!
Now what does she want?
Can you talk some sense into her?

And he said all this with a candid face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
from the bottom of his heart, he could not comprehend why miss Eve was so affronted by this and he was
Very bluntly asking me for backing in any way.

I had to draw up all ounces of endurance I had for the day to control myself from turning the air blue and pouncing on the fellow, removing his liver through his throat with a fish hook and subsequently whacking him over the head with it!